Things I've Learned: Volume 2

Living in Asia really isn't all that different from living in Canada, nor is working in a hogwan all that different from working at Pizza Hut. Everywhere you live or work has it's different quirks. It's just up to you to figure out what those quirks are and how to modify them to you or yourself to them in such a way that everything runs semi-smoothly.

It just kinda happens to be that when you live in Korea, you tend to modify yourself more than normal

....a lot more

so, without further adieu, volume two of thing's I've learned

Cars and Driving

• Emergency Lights (4-ways). They're ACTUALLY not for emergencies. No, actually, your "emergency" lights are handy little things. Say, for instance, you're in a really big hurry cuz you slept in and were late picking up a foreigner to drive her (or him) to work in the morning. It is totally ok for you to run red lights, drive in the other lane, or even drive up on the sidewalk at times IF you have your emergency lights on. This is to let the other drivers know that you are in FAR more of a hurry than they are, therefore allowing you to drive like a maniac. Don't worry, they understand, they did it last week.

• The name sidewalk is a silly western thing. The name implies that that space should only be used for one thing: walking. Obviously this is ridiculous. I mean, think about how much room in this world is allotted for sidewalks....and this is just for people to walk safely on?? A waste I say. The sidewalk would be much more productive if it was used to serve many functions. To name a few, sidewalks can be used as roads, stores, restaurants, pubs, parking lots, beds or even garbage dumps! They really are quite versatile. Us westerners really need to get on this sidewalk bandwagon. The idea that they're only for pedestrians is really quite pointless, I mean, who wouldn't want to walk with a scooter bearing down on you from behind?? (don't worry, they'll honk if they want you to get out of their way)

• Painted medians - another area where us westerners have underestimated its versatility. They make fabulous parking lots. Even in the middle of REALLY busy intersections. Don't worry about having to dart across traffic to get to your car that's parked in the middle of the road. Just walk around on the sidewalk for awhile to get used to dodging vehicles. It'll be like a warm-up.

• Seat belts. You shouldn't wear them. They indicate to the driver that you don't trust their driving. It's actually an insult (and here I'm not being sarcastic)

Food and Drink

• You will not die, or even get remotely ill if you eat raw food. Although I'm certain that the random chicken/beef/unknown meat on a stick that we all buy from vendors on the side of the street is cooked to health inspector standards. Eggs and yogurt are perfectly safe if stored on the side of the road, even in 30C weather.

• It is normal to have your squid/octopus still moving on your plate, in fact, this makes it easier to eat since the tentacles will wrap themselves involuntarily around your chopstick, ensuring that perfect bite. E. Coli apparently doesn't exist here....must be the kimchee

• In order to fully taste your food it is necessary to eat with your mouth open. Apparently this is better referred to as "eating deliciously" (my students, not my wording). This is so air can mix with your masticated food, therefore bringing out the full extent of the taste. I haven't asked, but am assuming this is why Koreans also chew gum like cows. It must be the taste thing.

• However safe eating raw food may be you should NEVER try to wash down a pill with Coke. This will cause extreme repercussions involving enormous pain... although no one can quite describe to me what exactly will happen, I'm just informed that it would be bad. Kinda like the sleeping with a fan on or eating char-coaled meat (see Volume 1)

Dealing with Koreans

• Maybe means yes. It means yes even when it is said in the following context "ya, maybe, I dunno, I'm pretty busy during the week and on the weekends, but ummm, ya, I guess, possibly sometime." Sometimes it's better to stop being Canadian. The polite person in me doesn't want to turn down a nice Korean mans invitation to dinner for fear of hurting him, so I give the previous line. However, in Korea, since maybe means yes, I end up getting random drunk phone calls at 1am from angry Korean men stating that I've broken the "promise" I made to them to be their friend. Stupid language barrier.

• Maybe also means yes when dealing with your boss. If your boss says "maybe could you do this?" It most certainly means, "I need this done pronto, it's really important."

• However, on the same note, if your boss says "Don't worry, I will pay you tomorrow." That doesn't mean anything beyond "I'm sure tomorrow I'll think about paying you, doesn't mean you'll see any money though, sucker."

• I know I've stated this before, but really this is a big one. Your boss is like your own personal God. Or, at least, he thinks so. He can, and will, on a whim decide such things like: you're moving, you'll be starting a new job every morning for which you'll have to get up at 5:30, you'll be making up these extra worksheets on your own time...etc. He can also, on his next whim, decide that these things aren't as important as he thought they were 2 seconds ago, but will decide against informing you of these changes. You have telepathy right?

• Koreans apparently DO have telepathy. Learn it before you come to Korea, it'll help immensely.

Korea in General

• It's actually not that bad at all. I do really like it. I've learned that if you stop taking life so seriously and just go with the flow then you can be happy. Try to change a whole country and you'll drive yourself insane. A lot of the time it seems Westerners have a stick up their ass (sorry for the visual). I've learned that the world won't come to an end if everything's done a bit backwards. In fact, keeping everyone guessing makes the time fly by that much faster and hell, it makes for more entertaining days. Like I say: "Time flies when you're confused all of the time."